Why the FFx2's cast's clothes are that way!
by Riku Lee
Summary: The latest Chapter about how SHINRA got his Full Body Outfit is up! So it's Yuna, Tidus, Nooj, then Shinra!
1. How Yuna got her Unique Skirt!

Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft and I don't own Final Fantasy X-2 or any of the characters. I don't even get paid to type this. Ralg, I don't own much stuff...But I DO own the clothes on my back right now... 

A/N: This is my **first** fanfic, so if it's lnybbo, please don't blame me. If you any suggestions for other things I'll write about (ex. Why does...etc, How did...etc), please include that in your reviews. If you got anything to say to me, add it in your "reviews". I give my thanks to Auin for suggesting that I write this (and putting her in here in the first placeand saying thanks...). So on with the show! (Before I start boring you...) Oh by the way, if you really LOVE Hypellos, please don't read this. I'm sorry for teasing them, and if I hurt your feelings or make you guys wanna hurt me Auin will avenge you. Auin LOVES Hypellos too, so you shall have your revenge via her. Auin's kicks really hurt. She has other ways of torturing too (Like strangling & stabbing)...

- The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester -

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**Chapter 1: Why Yuna's "skirt" looks that way.**

After defeating Sin, Rikku thought that Yuna could use a change with her outfit. So... Rikku picked up Yuna from Besaid and now, both of them were in the Celsius, flying around Spira.

"Yunie! Let's go to the mall!" Rikku jumped up and down excitedly.

"We had a ma-" asked Yuna, but Rikku placed her hand on Yuna's mouth.

"Shhh! Don't say that! If you don't use your IMAGINATION it'll go away!" Rikku explained.

"Right! Imagination!" Yuna said after Rikku stopped covering Yuna's mouth.

So they got off the Celsius after Buddy let them off quite close to the mall. After walking for some time, they reach THE MALL. (A/n: Kinda ridiculous eh? The name of the mall? I was too lazy to think of one.) They excitedly ran inside and the first store they saw was "A Big Bucket o' Boltz!".

"Hey! Let's check out that store!" Rikku pointed to the store.

"Well, alright... But I thought we were gonna shop for clothes..." she muttered.

Yuna wasn't really talking to anyone, because after she said "Well, alright...", Rikku ran at 60 mph toward the store. When Yuna noticed she wasn't talking to anyone, she looked around her to see if anyone saw her talking to "herself". She noticed this WAY OVER-SIZED cross between a Smurf and a frog (Aka. A Hypello) staring at her. She caught it staring at her(A/N: Some part I don't wanna mention...) for awhile and it started drooling. Yuna was creeped out and ran to the store almost as fast as Rikku had just done (But, Yuna is Yuna. She thought that she was as fast as Rikku, but in reality she wasn't really that fast...) .

"Oooh! Look at this!" Rikku said, looking at one shelf then another. She was so excited she was practically running around the store to look at everything, when she bumped a spikey blond haired guy who was checking a box of bolts. (A/N: What else can you expect to find in a store called "A Big Bucket o' Boltz"!)

"Hey! Be careful, you might hurt somebody..." He said picking up the spilled bolts.

"Me? Hurt somebody? But I'm too innocent to hurt anything... But YOU could poke someone's eye out with your hair!" said Rikku.

"Hey! Don't say "You could poke someone's eye out!" That'll just remind me of my... my... wait a minute. Woah...What do we have here? It's Cid's girl!"

"I have a name! It's called Rikku... Unless you can't pronounce it and make up for it by saying "Cid's girl" all the time... Ok, crash course on how to pronounce my name... Ri- kku. Say it with me... Ri- kku."

"Drat! She found out I couldn't say her name..." Gippal thought.

"Well, I gotta go Cid's girl! Gippal said. ("RIKKU!" Rikku corrected him)

Gippal ran out of the store. As soon as Gippal ran out, Yuna went in the store to find Rikku.

"Rikku? Are you there?" she called.

"Yeah. Let's get outta here Yunie..." Rikku said, her pockets bulging suspiciously. (Rikku snagged the contents of the store's cash register...) Rikku ran out and grabbed Yuna's arm so that they'll make a quick escape... er... I mean, they'll not waste anymore time getting to the store.

Meanwhile... The shlow shopkeeper of "The Big Bucket o' Boltz" came back from his break. "Oh no. I've been robbed again?"

ANYWAY... Rikku and Yuna were running to a store at 60 mph since there was a sale... 99 off! When all of a sudden, a police officer and helmet comes in a motorcycyle, and stops them for speeding.

"Um, this is quite rare... Having to ticket girls for RUNNING at 60 mph..." the police officer said shaking his head.

"Can't we just have a warning?" Rikku asked as the police officer was looking down, writing the tickets. When the officer looked up, he saw Rikku and Yuna doing their cutest look that says "Please don't do this to us!"

The police officer sighs and says, "Fine... Since this is your first offense, you won't be ticketed...But you have been warned." Then he speeds off to ticket a blue figure in the distance for walking TOO SLOW.

So eventually, Yuna and Rikku made it to the store called, "O'aka's secret!" (A/n: Don't look at me, my friend suggested it while I was typing this.)

Yuna saw this pretty blue long skirt and was attracted to it the moment she set her eyes on it.

"Ooh! Look at the skirt! That color reminds me of Tidus... somehow..." she exclaimed.

"Hey! Pretty skirt!" yelled Rikku.

They both ran to the skirt and got it at the same time. Rikku was holding the right side, and Yuna the left side. "Rikku, I think I ought to keep this skirt. I DID see it first and it matches my blue eye!" said Yuna.

"Nuh-uh I saw it firster! It doesn't matter if the skirt doesn't match my eyes or not either!" said Rikku

Yuna still clutched the skirt. Rikku tried to tug it out of Yuna's (iron) grip. After Rikku made two more tries, a "little" tug-of-war game started. Then you know what happened right? RIIIIIP! Yuna and Rikku fell onto the floor, each of them had a half of the skirt.

"Aw, it's ruined... I don't want it anymore..." Rikku said and threw it over her shoulder. The ruined half-skirt fell on a certain blue fellow's head. "What?" he said shlowly... The police officer guy sped in and caught the "culprit" red-handed, (Which is kinda odd, for a blue creature...)

"If you damage the merchandise, you pay for it." said the police officer as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But I don't haff any money shee?" shaid the Hypello.

"Then you're going to jail." the police officer said simply.

The Hypello ran away, but the police officer caught up with it after taking only ONE step forward. (A/n: The Hypello was too slow... 0.0;)

"Oh no. This ish the worsht day ever for me yesh?" said the Hypello.

"Whatever." said the police officer.

Yuna and Rikku were hiding under a big pile of clothes while this was happening... Yuna was still clutching on her half of the skirt. Rikku didn't exactly get a perfect half of the skirt, rather a chunk of it. So after the police officer and the Hypello were gone, they crawled out.

"There was still hope for fixing this skirt, and I'm gonna wear it no matter what." Yuna thought.

Yuna didn't have to pay for the skirt... The Hypello was thought to be the one who destroyed the skirt and is now in jail because of that. So Yuna bought other clothes that she thought would go well with the "skirt", like the itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny- shorts she managed to wear, black boots, and a belt with a pouch for items. Rikku bought her that white shirt with bits of pink at the bottom, and those yellow arm band things since she felt sorry for Yuna that the skirt that she wanted was ruined( or so she thought).

Well, Yuna wore all of those things when she went into the dressing room and when she came out, another Hypello came by and saw her. He stared at her for a moment and... smiled. Very creepily... (A/n: Imagine you were wearing something a bit too revealing, and a complete stranger stares at you and smiles... You should be afraid... You should be VERY afraid!) Yuna was very creeped out at this and ran to the Celsius and yelled to Rikku, "Hey Rikku! I left a lotta candy in the Celsius, so the sooner we get there, the sooner you get candy!" so Rikku would run quickly to the Celsius.

Now, you know how Yuna got her unique skirt, and why Hypellos are always smiling whenever Yuna is near them. (A/N: You CAN'T tell if they stop smiling since in the game, you use Yuna! By the way, if you're using Tidus and they're STILL smiling... They're bi!)

-The End -

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A/n: Coming out soon! Why does Nooj have a metal leg, Why does Buddy wear goggles all the time, and more of that and maybe your own suggestion/s will be written and posted soon. Sypa dra haqd cduneac femm refa Al Bhed eh dras. 


	2. How Tidus got his clothes!

Disclaimer: I don't own this or that or FFX2 or FFX and uh... Yeah... 

Author's note: MONTHS LATER... The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester has been struck with imspiration to continue this thing. Sorry for all you guys who liked the first one and wanted to read the following chapters but I was just to damn slow... Oh yeah... to "Unie" you might see someone familiar here... To tsubame7, I bet people are asking you to keep tellin me to continue. -The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester-

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Hey, this thing is slightly edited... The place? Luca of course...Tidus has been brought back to life by Yuna few months ago. Now, Tidus has just finished his game and beat the Al Bhed Psyches (sob) and The Kilika Beasts (HAH! Beat you guys 30+ times!). After his game, he tried to sneak past all these fan girls but... 

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! Like, omigosh! It's HIM!" yelled a hysterical fan girl.

"Uh-oh..." thought Tidus, "Not again..."

"OMIGOSH IT IS SO HIM!" yelled Le Blanc. (A/N: Why is she here? No reason...) "Get 'im Jennifer!" she yelled to the hysterical fan girl.

"Uh... Hi?" went Tidus.

The crowd of people ran at Tidus then surronded him.

"Can you sign this, mister?" asked a little kid.

"Sure!" replied Tidus and he picks up the ball and signs it.

"When I grow up, I wanna be a blitzball!" said another kid excitedly as Tidus signed his ball. (A/N: I played FFX and I found a kid running around and yelling he wanted to be a blitzball when he grew up...)

"Uh, don't you mean a blitzball PLAYER?" asked Tidus as he handed back the ball.

"Move over kid!" yelled LeBlanc.

Then the LeBlanc syndicate arrived and pushed people far from Tidus so that LeBlanc and Jennifer could go near him.

"EEEEEEE! IT'S HIM! THE MOST COOLEST UBER HANDSOME AND UNBELIEVEBLY CUTE ALL AT THE SAME TIME GUY!" yelled Jennifer.

"Like, YEAH! You're like, almost as dreamy as Nooj!" went LeBlanc.

"Somebody, save me... Yuna... Rikku... Anyone..." thought Tidus in his head.

"Uh... What'll I sign?" asked Tidus.

Then a flying airship came above them.

"Look! There's a three-headed monkey over there! Far far FAR away from Tidus!" yelled a voice.

Amazingly, they all looked.

"Where!" they all stupidly asked.

"Uh... Just keep looking!" said the voice while a rope was desending from the airship. Tidus looked up and saw Yuna.

"Pssst! Tidus! Climb up!"yelledYuna.

Tidus grabbed the rope and started to climb when...

"Hey! THAT IS SO NOT A THREE-HEADED-MONKEY!" screeched Jennifer.

"Omigosh! Tidus is like... Getting away!" screeched LeBlanc.

"No he isn't!" yelled Jennifer.

Jennifer grabbed on Tidus' pant leg and hung on. "Omigosh! You like... smell good! What's your cologne?"

"WHY? ARE YOU GONNA USE IT, YOU HAG?" yelled Yuna.

"Everything's getting weird... Maybe Sin's toxin IS getting to me..." thought Tidus.

"RIP..." went Tidus' pant leg.

"Woah! Not good! Not Good!" yelled Tidus.

"Hey! This might sting, but this'll hurt the lady more than it'll hurt you Tidus!" yelled Rikku.

Hey guess what she did? SHE THREW A BOMB.

"BANG!" went the bomb.

"GASP!" went Yuna.

"Oh yeah! Bull's eye!" went Rikku.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! (Splat!)" went the incredibly annoying lady called Jennifer.

"Ow?" went Tidus.

"Pull him up, now!" yelled Yuna.

"Weeeee!" went Tidus who was feeling dizzy.

So Tidus was up in the Airship.

"A-are you alright Tidus?" asked Yuna.

"Am I in Heaven?" asked Tidus.

"Uh-huh... He's crazy..." commented Paine.

"No he's not!" objected Yuna.

"Yes he is... There's no such thing as heaven here..." commented Paine.

"Oh... right." went Yuna.

"Uh..." groaned Tidus weakly. He tried to get up but Yuna made him lie down again.

"You need potions... hang on..." went Yuna, searching for potions.

"Here you go, Yunie!" chirped Rikku as she ahnded her a Hi-Potion.

"Oh thanks." went Yuna and healed Tidus who went unconcious.

Later on, Yuna went downstairs where Paine and Rikku were.

"Yuna!" called Paine.

"What is it?" asked Yuna.

"Didn't you say that Tidus died?" asked Paine.

"Well... I didn't say..." went Yuna, but then she glanced at Rikku. "Nevermind... what about it?" she asked.

"How come you never bothered to use a Pheonix down or something?" asked Paine.

"..." went Yuna.

"Hey... I never thought of that too!"commented Rikku.

Meanwhile... Tidus rubbed his head and was glancing where he was. He was on a bed and down below he saw some blue thing that was standing upright. It looked like a frog, and it was blue... Yuna told him before it was called a Hypello.

"Ha Ha Ha... Funny looking thing... Now to see how much damage the falling bomb caused..." thought Tidus.

"WAH!" cried Tidus.

"What was that?" asked Rikku.

"I think it was a dying shoopuf." suggested Paine.

"Let's check it out! It's upstairs!" exclaimed Yuna.

So YRP ran upstairs to find Tidus awake and his face was slightly wet.

"What happened to you?" asked Rikku.

"I-I just got uh... allergies!" explained Tidus.

"Right..." said Paine sarcastically.

"So what's wrong?" asked Yuna.

"Look at my clothes! They're ruined! My pant legs were both matching with the Zanarkand Symbol! One of them's gone! And my sleeve! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SHIRT! IT'S ASHES!" spluttered Tidus.

"..." was Paine's reply as she just stared at him in disbelief.

"Um... okay... Maybe I'll find you something to replace your sleeve. Meanwhile, you gotta borrow Buddy's or Brother's clothes while we try to fix your clothes, alright Tidus?"suggested Yuna.

"I'm gonna wear Buddy's or Brother's clothes!" asked Tidus in disbelief.

"Well, either those or the moogle costume..." suggested Rikku.

"I'll... I'll wear either Buddy's or Brother's thank you..." mumbled Tidus.

Unfortunately, Buddy's clothes were too small for Tidus to wear so he had to wear one of Brother's jumpers. Then, Brother tried to gel up Tidus' hair into a mohawk like his, but Yuna glared at him so he didn't.

Rikku found this weird machina-like thing in one of Brother's jumper's pockets. Brother said he found it in Bikanel Desert and said she could keep it since he couldn't find any use for it. So Rikku looked for Tidus and handed it to him.

"Here ya go! Yunie said she didn't have any cloth or anything like that so I'm giving you this in replacement for a sleeve!" chirped Rikku and handed him the machina-like thing.

"Hey thanks!" said Tidus.  
Soooner or later, Yuna came and handed Tidus his clothes.

"Uh, I tried repairing them, but it isn't burnt or anything... It's just that the Zanarkand symbol thing is gone and can't be replaced." said Yuna softly.

"Well, I'll wear this proudly since you repaired it and all for me..." said Tidus and smiled.

Tidus went to the nearest restroom in the airship and changed there, then he got out. He walked back to where Paine, Yuna, and Rikku were.

"Hey! Try wearing that machina thing!" suggest Rikku.

Tidus wore it and amazingly it was a perfect fit. Plus, it was cool.

"Hey, not bad!" smiled Yuna.

Then Shinra walked in and commented, "What happened to your clothes? Did a bomb drop on you or something?"

Yuna glared at him so Shinra just kept quiet.

The End

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Hey... Jennifer SOUNDS familiar eh? Heh Heh Heh... I'm so ebil... XD Oh yeah... I think this is bad compared to the other things I've made... T.T 


	3. How Nooj got his metal parts!

Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft, any Final Fantasy character, Nooj's leg, Nooj's metal walking stick, Nooj's metal arm, and well you get the picture... 

A/N: Hi... The one about Tidus is not my greatest work, so please ignore that one. I think I didn't play FFX yet when I wrote that... So that might explain why it sucks. All the Al Bhed language in the "Ya Virus!" was written by me without a translator. I'm so proud of myself... Thank you, readers for using your precious time to read my stories... Please make reviews for me if you have time, so I'll be able to know what you guys want to read, if I should take out my stories, and the like. I took out the Ya virus a lot of times... I placed it in F-zero, then rated it wrong, then forgot to edit twice, so I took it out and reposted the story like... around 4 times...

-The not-so-hyper-anymore Al Bhed Jokester-

Ps. I'm ACTUALLY tired...

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(A/N: This'll be weird, but Baralai and Gippal will be partners in crime. Meaning, they will play pranks now and then.)

Nooj was sitting still on the floor of the ship, since Paine was doing his hair. Kinda odd isn't it? Paine actually having the guts to TOUCH NOOJ'S HAIR! Well, Gippal found blackmail material in Paine's sphere collection. There's this sphere they stole that was actually a recording when Paine was a baby... Baralai found one of Nooj in Nooj's own personal collection... Was it pretty? I'll... leave it to your own imagination. So anyway, they somehow managed to convince Paine to fix Nooj's hair while Nooj sat still, or else they'll produce copies of the blackmail spheres and hand them out to people in Spira. Gippal smirked at Nooj.

"Hey, at least you won't look like some scary girl with all that hair in your face." joked Gippal. (A/N: I thought Nooj was a girl first time I saw him... I thought he was a girl until Auin told me Nooj was a guy... Then I head Nooj speak... yup, Nooj's a guy...)

"Shut up you eye-patched man!" said Nooj.

"Nooj... You might want to work on your comebacks..." said Gippal

"What are you talking about, dumb blond!" yelled Nooj.

"Practice your comebacks..." reminded Gippal.

"What? Can't you see that I'm better than you even if you change my now-very-healthy-body with metal replacements! Oh wait... You can't see very well huh, with the eyepatch and all..." tried Nooj.

"That's kinda sad, you know? Hey! Paine's done!" interrupted Baralai.

"I can't take it anymore! I did a few braids! I'm sleepy! DO YOU THINK I CAN FIX HAIR!" yelled Paine exasperatedly.

"Well, I think that's enough for today... and maybe I think I know why you have short hair. Short hair IS a lot easier to take care of then long hair..." obsevered Baralai.

"Yes, enough for today. Maybe next time I'll get my hands on spheres with YOUR embarassing moments or something..." muttered Nooj.

Paine got up and went into the cabin and disappeared. Probably to write in her journal (A/N: Check Jet Bunny, cuz she's managed to place Paine's Journal, YES! PAINE'S ACTUAL JOURNAL, as a fanfic on this site. If you're too lazy to go to search, just check my favorite authors for Jetbunny.) or sleep and trying to forget what happened. Gippal, however, took the sphere camera and started recording Nooj with his new hairstlye.

"Think ladies will dig the new Nooj?" asked Gippal jokingly.

"What about... Well, we already know WHO we're talking about right?" added Baralai.

"Who?" asked Nooj coldly.

"Aw man, isn't it obvious! She's in love with you! I bet she'll have a statue made after you or something cuz she's got one big obsession over you!" Gippal said.

"Which is quite the odd thing... I don't understand how or why girls will dig Nooj over me! Baralai can get girls with his good manners and etiquette or whatever that was called... But Nooj!" thought Gippal.

Meanwhile...

"I want you to make a statue of the man in the picture I'll hand to you, and it better be ready when I'm back or else you could say goodbye to your lovely um... Well, I'm just gonna be real mad and I can't tell how much damage I'll cause but whatever. Just get the statue ready. Goodbyeeeeeee!" rang a crazy blonde.

(A/N: No, not Tidus. Not Brother either. A female blonde. And no, not Rikku either. The blonde's not Al Bhed. Give up? Well it's Le Blanc of couse!)

Back to the Crimson Squad's place...

"Let's call it a day and rest, huh?" suggested Gippal.

"I'm looking forward to it." agreed Baralai.

"Sleep! Who need sleep! I am the deathseeker! I don't need sleep!" yelled Nooj.

"Yeah, he needs medical attention..." whispered Gippal to Baralai.

Baralai chuckled politely, then went to his room to go to sleep. Gippal followed suit and went to sleep as well. I don't really care about Nooj... But let's say that when everyone woke up, Nooj was found sprawled on the floor...

Early in the morning, Baralai woke up. He's always been the first to wake up, and today was no different. He went out of his room, and noticed that Nooj was sprawled on the floor. "...again?" he said to himself. The thing on the ground snorted and turned in his sleep.

Later, Paine woke up as well but she just wrote in her journal. She didn't really have much to do anyway... Then she heard a LOUD yawn which could only mean that Gippal was awake. Paine sighed and put on her regular clothes. She walked outside and found Gippal walking sleepily in his pajamas.

"Um... Gippal?" called Baralai uncertainly. "Well, GOOD Morning du oui duu!" spoke Gippal sleepily, and he was swaying while he walked. "Uh oh... Gippal's talking Enlish and Al Bhed in one sentence... AND he's walking in in pajamas... Something's going to happen..." thought Paine as she watched Gippal from a safe distance. Gippal was walking towards Nooj, but apparently didn't seem to notice. "Um, Gippal..." said Baralai but he really didn't know what to do. "Fryd? Nothing's wrong with me... Aah!" went the formerly sleepy Gippal. Gippal woke up when he stepped on Nooj's face. "Ew... E cdabbat uh Nooj..." (I stepped on Nooj...) he said with great disgust. Nooj snorted and stood up. He was a mess... as usual. The only difference now was that he had a footprint on his face, courtesy of Gippal.

"Well, that woke you two up!" said Baralai cheerfully. "Tch!" went Paine stroking her sword, "I could've woken them up too y'know... I just have t-" "If you do that, we'll be missing two members for the Crimson Squad!" interrupted Baralai. "Tch!" repeated Paine. "Hey, uh... Now that we're awake... What's for breakfast?" asked Gippal. Paine checked their food provisions and noticed they were gone. "Hey, we've run out..." said Paine.

At that moment, Nooj burped loudly. "Say excuse me, Nooj!" yelled Baralai angrily,"Don't you have any manners!" he continued. Gippal and Paine, however, were too busy glaring at Nooj. Nooj was too busy... plotting his own death to care. "Gippal, Baralai... We don't have food thanks to some pig here..." Paine whispered to both of them then glared at Nooj.

"Hey, I know! We'll go hunting for food!" suggested Baralai. Gippal and Paine looked at Baralai as they would to Nooj. "Well, Nooj DID eat everything... We can leave him here to protect the base while we find something to eat!" explained Baralai. "I wouldn't leave Nooj here to protect a thing!" argued Paine and Gippal at the same time. "Well, we've certainly have nothing to lose since Nooj just finished our food provisions. Besides, I think Gippal knows the way around this desert... right?" asked Baralai. "Eh? What? Me?" asked Gippal really surprised. "Uh no, Gippal... Baralai was busy talking to Nooj. YES YOU DAMMIT!" said Paine. "Fine..." grumbled Gippal.

So Paine, Gippal, and Baralai went on their little hunting trip. Somehow, they ended up in a village where Paine and Baralai happily stayed, bargaining for various objects. Paine, for example, was buying weapons (of mass destruction or for using on Nooj, I don't know) and Baralai tried buying normal food and rat poison... as if you find any rats in the desert. (A/N: MAYBE he's finally flipped and has forgotten about his politenessness and wants to kill Nooj too!)

Gippal wanted to explore the desert... and check if they was any useful machina buried in the sand. Gippal walked over this sand dune, checked the hole in that area, dug up a hole here, and couldn't find anything.

"Man... this sucks..." he sighed as he sat down on a round rock. Gippal stretched and then kept his hands on the rock to observe the prints he made in the sand. "Hey... why's the rock feel smooth...? It's TOO smooth to be a rock..." he commented as he glanced at the rock.

At that moment, the "rock" shook a bit... Then it started to rise. Turns out, the "rock" was some gigantic machina. It's an airship! "Woah! This is sooo cool!" Gippal yelled happily.

"I knew I could find machina here! I am Gippal!" he bragged while standing on the "rock" which turned out to be the cockpit of the airship. "Rao! Kad uvv dra creb!" (Hey! Get off the ship!) yelled a male voice from the cockpit. Gippal looked down and saw two people in the cockpit. "Syi E zueh oui kioc?" (May I join you guys?) asked Gippal. The two people glanced at each other and shrugged, then opened a small door for Gippal to enter.

With Paine and Baralai...

"No Paine, we can't take it!" argued Baralai. "And why NOT?" challeneged Paine. "Um... We don't have the space for it and..." Baralai reasoned. "Yeah and?" interrupted Paine. "What's the point of using all our money to buy nuclear missiles!" asked Baralai exasperatedly. "I have my reasons." Paine replied coldly. "Not that again... I know you've been trying to suppress your anger and it started to build up... But buying nuclear missiles just to kill Nooj is already insane!" Baralai reasoned. "FINE! We WON'T buy them!" Paine said and walked off. Baralai sighed and followed Paine to make sure she wouldn't buy any more things they didn't need.

All of a sudden... BOOM!

"What was that?" asked Baralai. He was pretty calm compared to the freaked out mob running around Paine and him.

"I don't know. We'd better be prepared..." replied Paine and she drew her sword out.

More people became frantic at the sight of Paine's sword and started trampling random things or incredibly slow moving creatures, like Hypellos.

"Wow... I was pretty sure the ground was soft... and not so blue..." commented Baralai as he observed the ground.

"...Whatever." replied Paine.

Then a air ship came out and stomped in front of them. It aimed spotlights at Baralai and Paine and drew out its many weapons. Baralai finally drew out his weapon and the both of them (Paine and Baralai) waited for the machina's next move...

(A/N: Okay... this is the confusing bit... For some reason, Paine and Baralai froze... I just looked away for a moment and looked back and found the both of them still as stone. O.O;; "Um... I promise I won't do that again... I'll keep my eyes glued, and I'll-" )

Hello? Uh... This is tsubame7 substituting for The Stupid Al Bhed Dum-dum... Lee (The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester) went out of his hiding place where he writes and decides what happens in the story... But it looked like he disappeared... I suppose we'll see him later. I'll be in charge for now.

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"Zzzzz..." snored Nooj.

BOOM!

"Zzzzzz... Wha?" asked Nooj 5 minutes later.

BOOM!

Nooj stumbled up and yawned and tried to look for where the noise was coming from, but since he was sleepy and had a hard time.

BOOM!

Nooj thought the sound came from behind him and checked and then...

SPLAT!

The machina landed on Nooj, pinning him on the ground painfully. The machina settled down and opened a door...

"Fro tet oui kioc tu dryd du sa vneatc!" (Why did you guys do that to my friends!) yelled an angry Gippal.

"Cunno..." (Sorry...) apologized the man.

"Buubea rayt..." (Poopie head...) muttered the girl.

Gippal helped the girl carry the petrified Paine out of the... Let's call it a ship, okay? So anyway... Gippal and the girl were carying Paine while the man was carrying the petrified Baralai. When the placed Baralai and Paine on the ground, the girl took out some Al Bhed potions and used it on them. Paine and Baralai shook their heads and stood up.

"Who are you people!" demanded Baralai.

"I'm Rikku!" said Rikku cheerfully, "And the person who turned you into stone's Brother..." she added and pointed at Brother.

"...who?" asked Baralai and Rikku realized she wasn't pointing at anyone.

"Rao... Fryd tu fa tu fedr drec?"(Hey... What do I do with this?) asked Brother and carried out a statue from the airship.

Everyone stared at the statue when Brother placed the statue down...

"HEY!" yelled a voice.

"That sounds like Nooj..." commented Gippal.

"Look! He's pinned under the ship!" commented Baralai

"Great! Let's leave him there!" commented Paine.

"I'm in great PAIN! I can't move my leg and my arm..." whined Nooj

"Wait! Before we rescue him, what'll we do with the statue?" asked Rikku.

"What statue?" asked Brother and they all noticed the statue disappeared.

(In the shadows...)

"Wow... this statue sure looks like Lee... Maybe it is Lee... Hey Lee! Can you hear me?"

"Wait, he can't talk... Good thing I snatched an Al Bhed potion... Here ya go..."

"Tsubame7! What're you doing here!"

"Would you rather stay a statue? Maybe I should turn you back and do the world a favor..."

"No wait! Thanks for bringing me back..."

"That's it? Just a "Thank you"?"

"Maybe next time I won't help you at all..."

(Back to the story...)

"Brother, get the machina off him!" yelled Gippal

"Why!" asked Paine.

"Didn't you read the handbook? We have to keep all members alive, no matter how much you hate them." sighed Baralai.

Brother managed to get the airship off Nooj and landed somewhere near by.

"Oh the pain..." moaned Nooj.

"It looks serious... The blood's building up in his arm and leg... We have to amputate..." said Baralai after observing Nooj.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this..." siad Paine and brought out her sword, smiling for the first time.

"We'll need to replace those limbs, ya know?" added Gippal.

"..." thought everybody.

"Wait! I know! Paine bought all these metallic objects for stuff... I think she was planning to make a home-made rocket launcher..." yelled Baralai excitedly.

"Okay! Cid's kids and I'll take care of that!" replied Gippal and the Al Bhed left entered the airship to make replacement limbs. (The stuff Paine and Baralai bought were still in there... Just if you're curious why they entered the airship)

"Aaaaah! The pain!" Nooj moaned

Paine smirked and raised her sword. Baralai shut his eyes and turned his back on them.

"I've always... ALWAYS wanted to do this." commented Paine.

"Aaaaah! Paine!" yelled Nooj in horror.

Paine set her sword down and sliced Nooj's left leg and arm off.

"Aaaaah!" yelled Nooj then he went unconscious.

Paine told Baralaihe could look already, and he used an X-potion on Nooj.

"Hey! Look's like we're on time!" commented Gippal, while watching Baralai checking the wounds of Nooj.

"Just making sure they're not bleeding anymore!" explained Baralai.

Gippal snapped his fingers and Rikku and Brother came running with a metal leg and arm.

"Alright... Let's go and fix 'im up!" yelled Brother excitedly.

Gippal kneeled down beside Nooj and attached the leg and arm. Gippal then stood up to check his work.

"It's not that bad." commented Baralai.

"It's almost as if nothing happened." commented Paine.

"Really? Man, I'm good!" commented Gippal.

"RAO! WAKE UP!" (Hey! WAKE UP!) yelled Brother and kicked Nooj over.

"What's your problem!" yelled Nooj and he struggled to stand up and hit Brother who was on his left side.

Nooj COULDN'T stand up properly... It looked like he was trying to swim on the land or something. Nooj tried another way of standing up, but he ended up on his left side. He moved his legs which made him look like he was walking AND he was moving in a circle... on the ground.

"..." was everyone's reaction.

Later there was a burst of laughter from everyone, including Paine.

"Help me up!" whined Nooj.

"Only LeBlanc'll do that!" yelled Paine.

"Speaking of LeBlanc..." muttered Gippal. Gippal motioned to Baralai and they both helped Nooj up.

Paine, Rikku, and Brother complained about losing their only form of entertainment in miles.

Gippal handed Nooj his walking stick to keep him up.

"Hey... LeBlanc's not gonna like Noojie Woogie being bullied..." teased Gippal.

"Yeah!" agreed Baralai.

Gippal placed an arm around Nooj. "Okay... You're just lucky nobody's got a spherecam around, eh?" he continued.

Gippal winked at Paine who took out a spherecam while Nooj wasn't looking.

"Hey Gippal! Guess what Noojie Woogie makes me think of?" asked Baralai mischiviously.

"Gee... I wonder..." Gippal replied.

"Well..." said Baralai and placed an arm around Nooj as well. "It just makes me want to do something..." he continued.

"Oh! You mean this!" asked Gippal and grabbed Nooj and got him into a headlock.

"Noogie!" he yelled with a smirk on his face.

"WEDGIE!" yelled Baralai as he gave Nooj a wedgie... which was quite amazing because of the metal leg...

"Ladies and Gentlemen... You have just seen the Noogie Wedgie, performed by Baralai and I!" Gippal announced to the camera after letting go of Nooj.

Gippal looked back to check on Nooj who fell while stuggling to fix his hair and he also had to suffer a wedgie.

Baralai squatted beside Nooj. He smiled and waved at the camera when Paine got near.

"Alright... Got it!" announced Paine triumphantly.

"Yeah! More blackmail material!" cheered Gippal.

"Send us a copy... We gotta go soon... It's almost Rikku's bedtime..." sighed Brother as Rikku complained.

"Alright... See ya!" said Gippal as he waved Good-bye to them.

Brother and Rikku left in thier airship and the Crimson squad realized how dark it was.

"I'm getting sleepy myself..." yawned Baralai. He went to his room to go to sleep.

"Yeah, I gotta go wake up early tomorrow..." Paine said and went to her room and wrote out her wrath and kept her sanity in her diary.

"Oh well... I suppose I'd better go too." muttered Gippal and went to his room to sleep.

"Guys? Anyone? I'm still here..." called out Nooj as the lights in everyone's rooms went out.

"Hello? Don't leave me here... There's sand everywhere! This could cause scratches on my metal arm and leg! I want it to look brand new! Anyone? Get me up at least? Hello?" he continued uselessly.

* * *

Yeah... That's it! Thanks, tsubame7 for taking over when I turned into a statue momentarily... Yeah. What should I write now? I know! You! You tell me what to write! Just include it in your reviews and I'll do it if inspiration comes and hits me on the head. ;; Anyway, thanks for reading! Would ya guys believe I started this this in April and post it in December? XD 


	4. Why Shinra's got a full body outfit

**Why Shinra wears a full body suit and more...**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own FFX – 2 or anything connected to it… I have a copy of the game though. O.o

**Author's note**: I must be one of the worst authors in here, seeing as I hardly update much. I apologize for I hardly have the time or the ideas. If I did, I would post them, wouldn't I?

By the way, I still hate Hypellos for some reason.

- **Riku Lee**

* * *

"Greetings! I am Shinra. I'm the Al Bhed wunderkid. In other words, I'm the smartest guy who has ever stepped foot on the Celsius. Which isn't really saying much if you know the people on this ship... Like Brother, Barkeep, Rikku --" 

"What cha doin', Shinra?"

"Uh oh... Damn!"

"Did you break your new invention?"

Shinra shut the sphere and turned around.

"Oh yeah... something like that, Rikku." he shrugged.

"Hey! I heard someone swear!" yelled Yuna as a **thud** proclaimed her presence.

"Can't she just walk down the stairs like normal people? There isn't much to show off when you just skip _three stairs_ by jumping over them... In case she hasn't noticed, a dent is forming on the spot she keeps landing on." thought Shinra.

"It must have been a figment of your imagination, Yuna." Shinra said as he stood up on his chair and turned around to face them.

"What's a figment?" asked Yuna, tilting her head a bit.

"Uh..." stammered Shinra. Sometimes their stupidity can leave him speechless.

"Oh! Oh! I know what i_magination_ is! It's when you think really hard and you see rainbows or random pink fluffy things appear everywhere!" squeals Rikku.

"Really?! Awesome!" squealed Yuna as well.

She clapped her hands twice and thrust her hands forward, holding invisible guns. Rikku cart wheeled behind her, and posed as well. Her hands looked like they were holding daggers. Then they both grinned. Shinra supposed this was a new random pose that they made every 30 minutes…

"Ta da!" Yuna chirped as she crossed her arms, her invisible guns still aimed in front of her.

"Did ya see it, Shinra?" asked Rikku, still holding her pose.

"The pose? Why of course I did, Rikku. It's quite hard not to, with you guys being in front of me and all…" he replied, some of the white mist coming out of his mouthpiece.

"No, silly! Didn't you see the fireworks that went off after we posed?" Rikku giggled. She was laughing so hard that she couldn't hold her pose anymore. She rested one hand on her knees for support and used her other hand to point at Shinra, still laughing heartily.

Shinra blinked. Not like anyone could _actually_ see him do so because of his mask, but I thought I'd just mention it.

Yuna dropped her pose as well and tilted her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. She smiled a bit as if she was trying to understand why Shinra was clueless.

"Didn't you notice that I was wielding two pink fluffy teddy bears and that Rikku was holding two big rainbow coloured candy canes? We weren't really holding our regular weapons…" she asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"Well uh…" stammered Shinra.

"Hmm?" asked Rikku as she got up, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Check it out! We're your neighbourhood-friendly Imagineers!" Yuna yelled, posing once more.

"I'll beat up bad guys with my colourful candy canes of doom!" chirped Rikku, posing as well.

"They've got a lot of imagination… Aha! That's it!" thought Shinra.

"Yuna! Rikku! Guess who else doesn't have imagination?" asked Shinra as he danced/squirmed awkwardly in his seat. Some geniuses have their faults… Shinra's happened to be dancing or squirming (I can't really tell.) while he talks and being short. With him being a genius and all, you'd think he'd make a growth tonic or something…

"Huh? Who?" they asked, simultaneously.

"Barkeep. He _really _needs your help. You can tell if you've helped him with his imagination enough if he doesn't move slowly and can talk properly!" Shinra yelled, raising his arms up high to emphasize how important it is for them to help Barkeep. If you do not understand the connection of Shinra's speech and his hand gestures, that's all right. If you talk to people like Yuna and Rikku and use exaggerated movements, you'll make a big impact on them.

"Oh no! We've got to help him quick!" Rikku said, making her odd dog-paddling movements.

"That's right! Everyone on the Celsius should be full-fledged Imagineers!" responded her cousin, as she led the way running to the bar.

Shinra waited until the door shut completely and turned back to the sphere. He turned it on and sighed.

"Sorry. Before I was interrupted unnecessarily, I was going to explain why I am such a genius. First off, observe my suit! It's a **F**ully **A**utomatic **T**ot **S**uit or the **FATS**. Basically, Al Bheds give these suits, or **FATS**, to toddlers. As the Al Bhed matures, he tries to take on the harsh environment on his own, somewhat proving to others that he or she _is _indeed older, seeing as they have discarded some clothing and leaving some parts bare to danger. It's something in our culture. It's like they're proving that since they're older, they can protect themselves without the use of **FATS**. So they just reduce the **FATS** they have on."

"SHEENRA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?!" cried someone with a thick Al Bhed accent.

Shinra sighed and turned the sphere off and turned around to face Brother.

"Nothing that your inadequate mind could comprehend." Shinra replied curtly.

"Huh? Oui ghuf vimmo famm dryd E lyh'd ihtancdyht dryd vyhlo-byhdco English myhkiyka!" he whined, complete with _his_ awkward arm gestures.

_(Huh? You know fully well that I can't understand that fancy-pantsy English language!)_

"Drah fro tet oui pudran dnoehk du maynh ed ev oui'na zicd kuehk du aht ib frehehk?"

_(Then why did you bother trying to learn it if you're just going to end up whining?)_

"…Cuz I thought that Yuna'd be impressed!"

"I think Yuna'd be more impressed with Barkeep's English… Where ever _did_ you learn English?"

"From… Barkeep."

"Cdibet…"

_(Stupid…)_

"Crid ib!"

_(Shut up!)_

"This is why your English is incredibly bad."

"But he was cheap!"

"Didn't you think that was reason enough to wonder why the price was cheap? Note that he doesn't even _have_ the proper pronunciations."

"Gah… Oui'na kejehk sa y raytylra! E's kuehk du pat!"

_(Gah… You're giving me a headache! I'm going to bed!)_

Brother stuck out his lower lip in an attempt to pout and stomped off to his bedroom. Shinra waited _ever so patiently_ for Brother to go out. When the door closed, Shinra sat down in his chair **again**, and turned on the sphere **again**.

"Okay… Where was I? Ah yes… **FATS**. I've got a lot of **FATS** but this is the best I've got so far. When I'm out in the desert, I don't faint like Yuna does. My **FATS** actually has a cooling system inside, so I can stand the most scorching desert. You can tell by my breath. Sometimes my **FATS** is too cold, you can see my breath come out as mist when I talk. I can't help it. Sometimes the air-conditioning in the bridge dies and it would get hot in here. Brother doesn't really care since all _he_ has on are jumpers. He's so proud that he's old enough to survive without **FATS**. Rikku too. She's practically running around in a bikini top and mini-skirt with some lame arm warmers and a scarf. It's as if she thinks those could give her the same protection as her old **FATS**. Well, unknown to many non-Al Bheds, **FATS **also help with intellect. Note the fact that Brother and Rikku are no match for _my_ intellect, even if the two were to combine. My **FATS **is so superior, it's got a learning computer built in it. So it can read people's body languages so I can tell what they're thinking of. It's very useful for me in Blitzball when I want to know if someone is going to shoot to my right, left, etc. Also – "

"Hey, Shinra… Have you seen Brother?" asked Buddy.

Shinra sighed and shut the sphere once more. Is today "Bother Shinra While He Works" Day? It sure felt like it.

Shinra stood up on his seat and turned around to face Buddy.

"Oh, I don't know…"

Buddy looked at Shinra for a while and leaned in closer.

"Look, man. I know you're lying to me. I got my **FATS** on right now." Buddy said, tapping his goggles.

Shinra blinked. "What? But that's so… small."

"Well, I'm old and fit enough to fend for myself without complete **FATS**. I kept the goggles since it _is_ helpful, like now. I don't know why Rikku and Brother ditched theirs. They thought they'd look cool without them. Maybe they got confused with the **FATS **and the actual fat…"

"…That's reasonable. Brother's in his room. He's probably crying right now or something."

"Thanks, Shinra. Good luck with your sphere report thing." Buddy called out as he waved and left the bridge.

So Shinra waited, **again. **The door closed, **again**. And Shinra sat down and turned on the sphere, **again**.

"….Also I have failed to mention that there are other versions of **FATS **but I suppose that mine is far more superior to any other version. It is just a prototype, but I will strive to improve it. Who knows? Maybe it'll unravel the mystery of Hypellos and their missing link between Smurfs and giant frogs or it'll explain why Yuna enjoys helping people she doesn't know… Heck, it might translate Rikku's and Brother's phrases into sensible ones that I will understand. Until next time, this has been 'Learning The Why's Of How Certain Characters Dress Up' This is Shinra, Al Bhed wunderkid, who has taken his free time off to explain these odd things to you. Good bye!"

* * *

Yay! I'm done! Now I can write about the others! 

Who wants **FATS **now?!

xD


End file.
